Benj's Cafe of Mindless Raving(BCMR)

2006-01-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

new year. it's time to move on.

http://www.itsrainingindecember.blogspot.com

see you on the other side.

2005-09-07T18:38:00.000+08:00

feeling unusually depressed nowadays.
could be the work piling up behind me.
could be the work piling up in front of me.
could be the work piling up on top of me.
could be the things happening.
don't have time to sit down and stone nomore.

*drowning

cough* at least i'm still blessed with people willing to listen to me. kinda feeling better now.
thanks jy, thanks sam.

Damn, i want the cheerful me back. even my words are turning grey.

Not funny.

Found a cool black notebook for the OCIP journal. Hope we get the TEAM SAJC shirt soon ^^.
Action plan: focus on one thing at a time.
Goal: Don't screw up my PROMOS.

yes, i can do it. heh.

2005-08-10T15:45:00.000+08:00

I believe that....

i believe that everything happens for a reason.
i believe that the process is more important than the result.
i believe that my grandmother is the bravest woman i have ever met.
i believe that my guardian angel is working overtime.
i believe that learning to relax is important.
i believe that everything happens for a reason.
i believe that i will never grown up.
i believe that anime is good.
i believe that friends are important.
i believe that solitude is important too.
i believe that someone is watching over me all the time.
i believe that every mistake is a way to grow.
i believe that live is not meant to be understood.
i believe that live is worth the living if someone cries at your funeral.
i believe that having a roaring party at my funeral is the best thing that can ever happen.
i believe that life should be celebrated.
i believe that we should not be afraid of death.
i believe that pain gives meaning to joy.
i believe that the world is not round, it's a sphere.
i believe i'm just too bored for my own good.
i think you're even bored-er if you endured all the way here.
But, thanks anyway (=

2005-06-15T15:09:00.000+08:00

the air was musty and humid. light flow into corners that have remained unlit for months as the door creaked open. walking towards the centre, my mind retraced these steps that have grown alien. As my eyes adjust to the darkness, i see the faint outline of a switch.

I turned it on.

Within seconds, light flooded the room and i saw the word in brown on the computer screen.

[DASHBOARD]

Ya. I'm updating.

Life has been hectic. First, there was Ophir. After the trip, i start feeling a strong bond with snails and turtles.
It's hard to carry your home around.

Couple of things i learn from this trip:
1) Don't bring durians into the hotel room.
2) Don't bring Amos into the hotel room.
3) Gamble with Charles whenever possible.
4) Water is precious.
5) Campbell is God-sent.
6) Being a guy is good.
7) There are certain problems that are quite pressing.

And i thought it was rest when i come back. But NNOOO, there has to be PW and CT1 to spoil a guy's beauty sleep and gaming time.
Add to that the possibility of getting sacked by ODAC if i didn't do well for academic work? I'm poppin' like a pringle..

To other issues,
-Michael Jackson got acquitted from all charges. But his plastic surgeon is still guilty.
-Have anyone heard about the sex-changed Thai kickboxing Champion turned one-man(erm, i mean drag, no, i mean woman..) caberet that is performing in Singapore at the Esplanade??

Damn i miss the old times, when my life just revolved around finding that perfect stats for my Halberdier/Hunter/Zon/Sorc/Chinese Paladin Guy/Cloud Lupe/Mage/Ninja-Thief/Time-Black Mage

2005-05-09T21:34:00.000+08:00

sometimes we think, whether it's time to move on?
perhaps we will never know whether that is the best decision.

guess this is the reason why the words "trust" and "faith" were invented.

just a thought.

2005-05-04T17:36:00.000+08:00

movies i want to watch:

Coach Carter - Inspired by a true-life story, "Coach Carter" is an inspirational account of a controversial high school basketball coach, who received both high praise and staunch criticism when he made national news in 1999 for benching his entire undefeated basketball team for poor academic performance.

Kingdom of Heaven - Orlando Bloom stars as Balian, a blacksmith who has lost his family and nearly lost his faith. The religious wars raging in the far-off Holy Land seem remote to him, yet he is pulled into that immense drama. Amid the pageantry and intrigues of medieval Jerusalem he falls in love, grows into a leader, and ultimately uses all his courage and skill to defend the city against staggering odds.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - The book was amazing and still manage to crack me up after 4 reads. Hoping that the movie is good. Arthur Dent, Marvin the Paranoid Andriod and Ford Perfect!!

2005-05-03T17:28:00.000+08:00

This is not a drill.
I repeat, this is not a drill.

There is actually an update on my blog.
Yay!

Been really busy for the last entire month with all sort of school stuff. Guess this is how my next two years will be like huh. Well, guess i won't bore anyone who still checks on my blog [even though i haven't updated since 6th april] with "what happened today".
Instead, i'm doing a "what happened this month"!! On second thought, maybe not.

How many of us have truly treasured those around us? Especially our families? Though i'm sure not everyone of them is perfect and all-loving, surely each and everyone of them have in some part influences our growth. Don't make conclusions that they are merely bad influence too soon, you may never know when they have been your guardian angels at one point or the other.

Next we come to friends. Sure, there are tons of shallow people around. Bet i seem shallow to some at some point of time. But for each shallow jackass we meet, there are two friends that we share a connection with. Each of this people supported us through tough times, either with a gentle word, or with a helping hand. These are the people that with their tiny lights from above, came together and lit up the starry night sky of our soul.

Sure my reasoning is flawed, but mistake and human are pretty much two words with the same meaning won't you agree? [HA, Mrs. Huang will slap me silly for that.]

What i learnt in OEC: I should not be pissed off at those with flaws that are obvious to me. Everyone of us have flaws, what makes me think that i can get angry at those who are my equals? Do i think i'm superior to them? Reality check bro. It's usually the hidden cracks underground that cause a building to fall, not the obvious ones that are visible to all.

Conclusion: Stop being a conceited bastard child you asshole.

There, i've said my piece.

2005-04-10T00:45:00.000+08:00

first. benji's username is difficult to remember. So is his password(thats a 'interesting' one u've gotthere).

It's confidential but i think it'll be a better idea if i could share it.
pss.. the password's actually "ben-is-cute-n-oh-so-charming-too"
okie. craps... o.O

heez. anyway,
Big thanks for that bday entry ~~

benji really do blog "frequently", leaving it untouched fer almost half a mth.
dun worry... i'll spam more when there's a need to. =]
UPDATE more yea~

i'll share smth to u peeps out there.

hm.. i'm still thinking for a suitable caption fer it.

"behind u always?"

"GO AWAY STOP FOLLOWING ME!?"

um.. i'm bad at this.

Sign off : bleahh 4/9/05

2005-04-06T20:11:00.000+08:00

crap. i just met with a blogger's worst nightmare. my post came out blank after spending 20minutes typing. the only reason that i'm not scolding vulgarities is because i don't know where to start. so i shall just use four letters to represent the essence of what i'm feeling now.

argh!!

ok, i'm feeling much better now.
anyway, gish of what i typed.
1) I went for guitar ensemble meeting today.
2) I miss ODAC. [ hope everyone pass the selection process ]
3) My class is okie la.. Mai Hiam Bui Pai.
4) I must work harder for my A's. Don't wanna end up doing a degree in shipbuilding.
5) I should stop being an AS.
6) Mosquito! DAMN YOU!
7) Bye.

If this post comes out blank again...I'll go drink some water.

2005-04-03T18:38:00.000+08:00

quick update: I finally got the song[ high - lighthouse family]. Thanks JieYing! but i can't d/l it into my phone because it's in .wma and so far i only managed to change it to another format that my phone also cannot read. argh.
next step: find a music hosting site to host the song.

*nostalgically looping the song over and over

2005-04-01T17:21:00.000+08:00

new skin! how does it look?
finally i found a decent looking one after all that mindless searching.

well, life in its bittersweetness has not been smooth sailing. Thank God i still have my bunch of friends to fall back on. Without them, i don't know how am i gonna survive in SA in the foreseeable future.

Still, i believe that this bloody furnace is my forge and I'll give my best to overcoming all obstacles that come my way no matter big, small or seemingly impassable.
every. single. bloody. one. of. them.

Finale Night for Orientation was the best time of my year.. Was jumping to the music with my OG till everyone was drenched in sweat. Even KerWin and XinYi came back to join in the finale celebration.
Until the last song came up..

High- Lighthouse Family

When you're close to tears remember
Someday it'll all be over
One day we're gonna get so high
Though it's darkest than December
What's ahead is a different color
One day we're gonna get so high

And at the end of the day remember the days
When we were close to the end
And wonder how we made it through the night
At the end of the day remember the way
We stayed so close to the end
We'll remember it was you and me

Cause we are gonna be
Forever you and me
You will
Always keep it flying high in the sky
Of love

Don't you think it's time you started
Doing what we always wanted
One day we're gonna get so high
Cause even the impossible is easy when we got each other
One day we're gonna get so high
High high high high

at that moment, i felt damn sad la.
Being apprehensive about a future there is no running away from is an extremely scary thing.
Claustrophobia here i come.

A lot of people cried after finale, i managed to control my tears.
When i was going off, saw that a friend came back from HC and was crying also.. Tried to comfort her, hope that it made a difference. =/

Well, that's about it. There is a lot that i can't say in public comfortably no matter how much i want to get it off my chest. Let's hope I will be carried through all this soon.

2005-03-17T12:08:00.000+08:00

Time: 12.08pm
Weather: Sunny
Stomach Condition: Full
Feel: Content

well, life is boring during the holidays. Eat, Sleep, Go out. Eat, Sleep, Shit.
Quite envious of friends who are working now, they get money and meet new people, how fun. all I'm stuck with is a book, a desk and an air-conned room. How much drier can life get.

Monday when to play ball, puden pang seh due to his leg turning into a pig trotter. Tin An came with an injured toe which he used to get pass us. [ Ouch! Heheh. *Shoot] then he said he got smoked by the dusty basketball court. OoooKKIiiieeeee.......

Tuesday: Stone.

Wednesday: I spent the day running back and forth Singapore. First, i went to Orchard to do something and meet up with SinWen. End up she haven't ready, so i decided meet up with JieYing first. Since she need some time too, I went to Borders and picked up Tom Holt's "Snow White and the Seven Samurai". Ha, the title cracked me up. Then i bought a cake at NYDC and went to meet JY at bishan. Since I'm STILL early, went over to check out the Magic cards. Damn la the pricing went something like this.
Blistering Firecat: $12
Spiritmonger: $12
Angel Tokens: $4
i no money!! Think my Red Deck Wins Deck don't need to be made le.

When she came, i passed her the Nausicaa books, and ate the cake. I love NYDC Goldmine. haha. then she tagged along as i go back to Orchard to meet SinWen. Meet up with her at control station then passed her a stack of CD and got a John Grisham book[The Partner]. Haven't started reading yet.. But, soon.

Okie, that's about it for my week.

Oh, on a side note. You know the canned mini buddha jump over the wall? It sucks.

2005-03-11T20:23:00.000+08:00

so term one ended just like that.

must say, it have been an exciting three months.. first orientation, next CG, then a barrage of outings and new friends left me stunted but quite happy.. couple that with ODAC, lectures and tutorial..time teleported by. haha, life will never be the same again.

ODAC training on wednesday was night trek, so, i had to wait till 530 for the trek to start. so i burnt the three hours by makaning with SinWen at PS. after that, she went to meet her sis and i went back to school for ODAC. ODAC was quite fun la, was crapping with Pui, Wayne, Jess and Charles along the way, thenn after it turned dark, we played with light sticks under the night sky. nice experience ((=

today we were released early, so i went down to town with Sherlynn, Ian, Szu Xiang, Sam and Hong Rui since my CG didn't have a gathering[we haven't even had a gathering yet =/ ] so we hanged ard cine and heeren after lunch and waiting for YinMay to come over. Bought tix for Hitch then sat ard watching people dance ParaPara..hahah. Hitch was nice! Quite funny la, but it still can't top Howl's Moving Castle!! I want to watch again...............

Ok, now is the one week hols. time to rest.

Oh, sorry Florence, Phoebe couldn't make the concert so i didn't go too.. Sorry again.

*checking out

2005-03-10T20:03:00.000+08:00

tired.
sleepy.
stoned.
feeling slightly depressed and helpless.

for goodness' sake, i need to buck up.

2005-03-06T20:37:00.000+08:00

-On JAE-
so i finally filled in my JAE..
it goes sort of like this:
1) SA
2) Anderson
3) Singapore Poly [ triple E ]

well, hope i get into SAJC, if not, then let me get into Sing Poly ba.
this year is extremely freaky, SO many people i know are getting single digit! i'm disillusioned.
bah, i should be contented with what i have ya?

-On Bloody Bears-
firstly, sorry about the black nose..but it's prove that i hug Tako often right? i think Pachi's nicer to hug, cause Pachi's softer and more squeesy.. hahahah. Pachi's starting to smell like me already! is that good or bad..

-On Saturday-
went out to watch Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events, it was good! i like the storyline a lot and Violet is smart.(= i think the graphics and the atmosphere is very well done. Then hor, i saw someone with a guy.. Boyfriend? haha.. not bad ya, come to Singapore a while nia got guy jio le..
after that went down to HQ to watch the Zone 4 first-aid Com. SAS ROCKED! the results went something like this. [ ] = dialogue by the old boys

Best in TOC = AA1(SA) [SA!]
Best in Footdrill = AA1(SA) [SA!]
Best in Long Case = AA1(SA) [SA!]
Best in Short Case = AA1(SA) [SA!]
Best Leader = AA1(SA) [WA KAO! TRASHING]

so, guess who won the AA category.

the AC team also got first runners up, so SA did extremely well this year.. as in all other years ((= with a honourary mention of the good footdrill displayed by the shortest boy in the competition this year.

Guys: I'm damn proud of you.

2005-03-04T13:41:00.000+08:00

met up with vanessa, teng jie, siling, michelle, and jing xiu at somerset yesterday to go for the SAJC band concert. then after that we ate at somerset, met rachel and went over to tanjong pagar, met elsa then set off for the concert.. the concert was quite nice la, compared to last year's SAS concert, the note was much lighter. the music was just as good but it was funnier. was so shocked to see Eff stand up and shout, cracked me up.

Chua Dio after the concert seeing people chionging to the mrt with a freaked out look. there was a rumor that JAE ended yesterday night at 11.59pm. =/ what crap.

feeling a bit down now cause i realise that quite a number of people are leaving SA. sigh. so it isn't once a saint, always a saint after all.

six in a hand, half a dozen in the other. treasure what you have people. and stop the whining.

2005-03-02T15:52:00.000+08:00

well, i'll try not to make the nose black. again.

Traditional Sagittarius Traits
Optimistic and freedom-loving
Jovial and good-humored
Honest and straightforward
Intellectual and philosophical
On the dark side....
Blindly optimistic and careless
Irresponsible and superficial
Tactless and restless

http://www.astrology-online.com/sagittar.htm

2005-03-01T18:37:00.000+08:00

yay. i'm a pro-bie! haha. wa lao, play halfway suddenly realise that jane from my primary school has been playing at the table beside mine for the last hour. freaky shit.

watched howl's moving castle today. gosh, the art is amazing. i got goosebumps 3times throughout the movie.. even though the storyline is not very streamlined, i still recommend everyone with a spare dough to go watch! you don't regret it. seriously. now to save money to buy the over-priced soundtrack.

damn la. i seriously think i screwed the interview up. =/ shat.

*after so long, i'm still afraid. how?

2005-02-28T18:45:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling exhausted right now. too much adrenaline and shock in a day.
well, i should say it turned out pretty well this time. enough for me to stay on in SAJC. but feels kinda empty now, seems like i lost a purpose in life. well, i'll just have to find another. hope most of the people i know can stay on in SA or move on to a better school. but for those who are disappointed, cheer up alright? blessings in disguise are usually the sweetest kind, once you manage to realise it.
tomorrow still have to go back to school for the pre-u seminar interview. sigh.

I'M NUMB... argh. why?

*boogle minded.

2005-02-27T21:58:00.000+08:00

Your element is Water: Understanding, intelligent,
quiet and calm. You know who you are and no one
can change that. Usually quiet but only because
your listening, don't let anyone think you
haven't got an opinion! Your not quiet because
your shy or sad, your usually quiet because
your thinking. Your answers are well planned
and helpful so people generally seek your
advice. Your the perfect balance between
solitary and outgoing. But sometimes you need a
little time to yourself to sort out your
emotions and figure things out. You understand
the phrase 'sticks and stone' and rarely let
things get to you, whats that important for you
to have to get so upset over? You know what you
want out of life but are simply taking your
time and enjoying things. To you your life is
fine as it is, you can always change things
later if your not happy.

.:-What is your true element?-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by

2005-02-17T20:36:00.000+08:00

everyone know about the sudden shower that lasted for about 5 min right. after that the tennis court smoked. yep, the ground was so hot before the rain that it smoked.

anyway, i finally got around to contacting Yui, suppose to send her a letter since early Dec. Even got the 60cent stamps ready. but too busy lah..haha. Yui, if you are reading this..hi!

rumor has it that results are coming out on 25 March or 28 March. Sigh, time pass so fast. How i wish we can do orientation all over again. Don't really look forward to OrientationII: The Return of the BK [that's what i heard la]. What will happen to Saintierra now? Coming soon to a JC not so near you.

Campus Rampus: I'm told to go to school at 7am on that day. Siao. why don't you take the plan and shove it up your ass.
heh, sorry, sudden out burst. but seriously, it starts at 10am. you take 3 hours to set up? even if you wanna prepare cotton candy first it will have melted by 10am. mad child sia all of them.....

ok, that's it for today. bye.

*world weary.

2005-02-11T21:04:00.000+08:00

Today ODAC. Again. sorry guys, i went in the end =X
anyway, same old PT shit. but more shiong than last week. can't feel my hands now la.. after 6 months of lack-of-exercise, realise that my endurance deproved a lot. straining my left shoulder somemore. now cannot even lift my arm. *ouch
ODAC Group 1: according to the seniors, next week there is no more rock climbing. that means we won't get e chance to go rock climbing together this time. BUT there is always next time rite (=

I was reminded this today: "ya gotta lern ta count yer blessings." i've been trying hard to do that for the pass year.. think i got the hang of it already (= well....to a certain extent i guess.
[this is not counted as valid, extent must be to a large extent or to a small extent - Mr Koh]

neway, that's about it already. blog when i am less sore. (=

2005-02-07T18:15:00.000+08:00

finally had the long awaited gathering with my primary school class mates (=
we went for dinner at swensen's then EngSeng had to leave before Ms Chan arrived. then after that Ms Chan and JieYing arrived. after dinner we just went to walk around and i finally learn how to play pool.. Of all the ppl it was ZhenJie who taught me..
it was really nice to see my classmates again. and even though everyone has changed, makes me feel warm and fuzzy to think that we can still be this close.. i think this is like the highlight of my week. Dennis seems to be the only one that stayed the same after so many years. [swept by nostalgia]

anyway, that's about it for the weekends.. oh, i finally bought my new clothes.. and i found out that i may be able to change classes after march. whether it is a blessing or now i have no idea. but i'll just see how things go and make the best of it. maybe i'll even go poly. who knows?

*wurld weary sole.

2005-02-04T21:56:00.000+08:00

today ODAC we had physical training. hey hey! i'm not sore now! heh, i must be getting better at this. anyway, just spent 2.5hours doing jogs, runs, push-ups, crunches and other monkeycrap[in dc's words]

note: most likely i'll be sore tomorrow.

Hellsing finish already, now they showing KiddyGrade. it's not bad too, not as slick as Hellsing, but not bad..

Alucard[the main kickass guy in Hellsing] = draculA

2005-02-03T19:18:00.000+08:00

Today David Wong treated pizza. even though not a lot and not very filling, but it's still the thought that counts rite? first time we actually had a gathering as a class with all the scholars present, haha, at least it's a start. hope things will get better after this. tomorrow is the Science Expo parachute throwing competition thing. hope my group's parachute actually manage to fly =/
Started following hellsing on central.. quite nice..

School is getting a bit boring nowadays. things are starting to settle down and everyone started mugging. guess it's time to get the gears cranking again. well, another reason why i am so sian today could be the fact that it is a thursday. and thursdays are really really long and draggy.

damn, tomorrow no rock climbing. have to go physical training for ODAC. wa lao, sian 1/2. mine is 2 weeks away, well, at least i'm doing it with most of my group.

*face the sun and you will leave your shadow behind you

2005-02-01T21:10:00.000+08:00

According to Buddha: Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.

2005-01-31T20:13:00.000+08:00

should have blogged this on friday la, but could use com only today. so here it is. pardon me if some of the feel is gone.

ODAC group one rocks!! There was a treasure hunt the first week, then second week we had outdoor cooking.. and group one won both! Even the seniors were shocked. i think if anyone from our group got dropped by odac we will be damn sad.. touch wood* that ain't gonna happen.. oh, and physical training is gonna start soon.

pheb you idiot. make me wait for you for nearly an hour.. grumble*

oh, and today chinese was fun. heh.

*tired like a hamster. [incoherency]

POWER RANGERS NOW HAVE A SENSEI GUINEA PIG!! when will the madness end.

2005-01-26T16:55:00.000+08:00

ok, i'm blogging again.

prerelease as always. is fun. Rant: i got a solid set of green and white cards so in the end i didn't really have to build a deck, just had to weed out some bad cards. 15lands in a 42card deck works out really nicely for a green build. Result: 2 wins 1 draw 1 lose. the last win was easy, my deck outclassed his. Thank you "newbie sitting to my left" for passing me such a great set of cards! repetition: Iwamori equiped with a No-Dachi is scary.

all the stuff on top is just to add bulk. this is the main part. just now, a friend said this about another person. "he dun look like tt kind who can protect u" Context: we were talking about a mutual friend who is very cute according to my OGmates[that much, i don't agree] The "u" is confirm not me. but this still kinda hit me hard. i shan't go into detail about what i think, but there's some soul searching to do.

*lost and i still don't see

2005-01-25T19:26:00.000+08:00

My conclusions of the week:

1) an attacking 7/5 first-striking trampler is bloody traumatic for the opponent.
2) when in doubt, talk to a duck.
3) chinese conversations can actually be funny.
4) aundrea lik.......ouch, stop it...ouch, hey! ARGH. OUCH!

Benjamin is currently unable to continue as he is engaged in an epic battle with Aundrea.

2005-01-18T20:09:00.000+08:00

the actual timetable starts today. sigh.
means there is less time to spend with my OG already..

today i finally manage to make friends with the China scholars. they gave me their numbers, but i still dunno who is who. so the numbers are pretty useless. i only manage to remember 2 names.

went to Changi Airport to meet Eleanor today to makan. all TJC ppl there except for me. but damn farnie la, very nice people. i eat until stomachache. ELEANOR, GOT SOMEONE LIKE YOU!!!(even though i think his eyes a bit paste stamp la) WOOT~

*can form Eleanor Suaning Club(ESC) already.

2005-01-17T18:52:00.000+08:00

Note to self: stop thinking in one-liners.

let me set this straight. J. Quek is one of the laziest buggers to have ever walked the face of this planet. A -Quek- somemore, wa lao...

My OG wanted to climb a tunnel to Labrador Park, but the tunnel is damn dark.. can't see anything inside..so after we stood around and screamed for a while..kerwin and me ran away. yup.

we watch "After School" today in school. the scriptwriter must be having a bad day man. A girl committed suicide after being gang raped in a toilet, a guy got his kneecaps compound fractured by a hammer, two person ran a marathon at near sprint pace, some nerd-turned-ah beng killed a guy..all in a one and a half hour movie.

Singapore won! Yay!

*all 6C '00 PoiChing peeps. We are tentatively having a gathering cum makan session on the 29th of Jan. Meeting at 5pm. Location haven't settle. SPREAD THE WORD

2005-01-13T19:11:00.000+08:00

heh.

found out what i gonna do for chem already. something about battery cells.. should be quite fun (=

anyway, i am gaining academic inferiority complex. the indian scholars are freaky man, in lecture, they are going through the notes one page in advance of what the teacher is going through. and they are forever studying in the library. WA LAO~ how to compete like that......

pass Florence the newspaper.. she's teaching at Beatty Sec now. after that we went to meet Phoebe at central for coffee. hey hey, the get-together how? time to flying by le lor...

met JieYing just now at Orchard.. then we go walk walk and lim teh. the caesar salad is good, but they didn't use real bacon. We tried eating the tea bags and it didn't turn out to be very nice.

2005-01-11T19:37:00.000+08:00

stupid shit. I'm so sleepy, but no place to sleep. Grandma house under renovation, so got like five people i don't know walking around sawing and cutting. Apparantly the bed was thrown away and the floor is covered by a layer of sawdust.

today was alright la, stayed in school after class to do some stuff.. then found out have to do project work for chem and next week prac is starting already. sigh.
should i drop Fmaths after 3 months? After this year Fmaths will no longer be taught in A levels and the teacher is very dry. But on the otherhand Econs seems quite memory intensive. *ponder
heck, cannot think about this now, after 3 months then say. Scully macham come out a 14pt then cannot stay in SAJC. touch wood touch wood.

-in need of hibernation

2005-01-10T18:57:00.000+08:00

ok, time to update again.

Orientation was FUN! [in big font + bold + italic + red] i repeat, it was FUN!!! To those that didn't want to come to SAJC: "sucks to be u."

My OG is filled with crazy, mad, hyperactive, lame and enthu people. Oh, and today i found out at Ikea that they are very sick also la. Simi anorexic girl la, fat girl la, musclar spasm la, "ouch ouch ouch" la.. Wa lao, corrupt an innocent boy like me. Nugget.

Not fair lor, the girls like a lot of thing to look at. Then we nothing to see, all i heard was a rumor about a hot saucy[not sausage] lip girl in a OG near to mine..

But still, it was lucky that i come to SA la, saw one of my ancient good friend, so stun when i saw her on the bus.. heh.

ok, I'm keeping this short. Still a bit stoned from my gastric pain. Byebye.

2004-12-30T15:29:00.000+08:00

sometime things that we want to happen don't happen.
sometime things that we truly don't want to happen happens.

sometime things that we want to happen happens and we are happy.
sometime things that we don't want to happen don't happen, but we don't feel happy at all.

sometime we are happy, feeling that the world must be spinning around us for us to lead such a charmed life.
only to be pushed over the side the next moment.
*crash

sometime we are sad, feeling that the world is out to get us for us to lead the semi-lives that we are leading.
only to realise that there is a guardian angel beside us the whole time.
*sparkily, angelic, glowish whooshing sound

anyway, what i'm trying to say is this.
what goes up may or may not come down, but what is down can only go up[if you really want to].

2004-12-29T16:10:00.000+08:00

i was minding my own business when i came across this on Friendster.

[Popular searches in my network]

1.mastrubation techniques
2.free mp3 songs
3.new hair styles
4.zodiac love match
5.tips on flirting
6.new motorola cell phones
7.horoscope for today
8.CLUBBING CLOTHES
9.tips on kissing
10.dr phil weight loss challenge

let us bring our attention to number one.

....wtf?
i think i hear the sound of the boundaries of stupidity being broken.

you must realise, it is not actually one person, but a few people who first typed this inane piece of shit out, thus landing it on the TOP TEN at which time a lot of other people start clicking on the link allowing it to rise up to reign King over the land of the Stupid. goodness sake, he even spelt it wrongly!

and in the first place, why would anyone think there is actually more than one technique? what, you wanna try wanking sideways?

it is times like this that i wish to stick a sword down my throat and die.

and i am pretty sure i know one person who have clicked on the link. *cough Brain W.

and to add insult to injury, people actually searched for clubbing clothes. in cap lock. ouch[another dant in the BoS]

2004-12-23T14:14:00.000+08:00

Always with Me [from OS: Spirited Away]

translated from Japanese

Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my heart
May I always be dreaming, the dreams that move my heart

So many tears of sadness, uncountable through and through
I know on the other side of them I'll find you

Everytime we fall down to the ground we look up to the blue sky above
We wake to it's blueness, as for the first time

Though the road is long and lonely and the end far away, out of sight
I can with these two arms embrace the light

As I bid farewell my heart stops, in tenderness I feel
My silent empty body begins to listen to what is real

The wonder of living, the wonder of dying
The wind, town, and flowers, we all dance one unity

Somewhere a voice calls in the depths of my heart
keep dreaming your dreams, don't ever let them part

Why speak of all your sadness or of life's painfull woes
Instead let the same lips sing a gentle song for you

The whispering voice, we never want to forget,
in each passing memory always there to guide you

When a miror has been broken, shattered pieces scattered on the ground
Glimpses of new life, reflected all around

Window of beginning, stillness, new light of the dawn
Let my silent, empty body be filled and reborn

No need to search outside, nor sail across the sea
Cause here shining inside me, it's right here inside me

I've found a brightness, it's always with me

2004-12-15T11:13:00.000+08:00

The trip is fun! Haha, surprise. Anyway, it broadened my horizon and reduced my lifetime by a couple of weeks.

First there was Osaka, amazingly clear air for a city, pretty weather, pretty clouds, pretty pretty girls. The service there puts any Singaporean to shame and the scenery is bloody beautiful.... Visited Osaka-jo[Osaka Castle] and it really puts you in the mood to just chill out the whole day and eat tako-pachi[Note: i do not mean Tako and Pachi]. Around noon at a walkway near the foot of the castle a row of full bands is setting up their instrument and jamming with a crowd just standing around basking in the music. Wa lao~ Singapore where got such thing, everyone confirm sunburn after one hour sia. Then there were other places, but i'm just too lazy to type them out.

Then we went on to Shanghai. Nice place filled with shitty people. Period.

Ok, that's it. Have to follow my grandma to ShuangLingXi already. Sigh.

-Love is so blind that it feels right even when its wrong-
what happens when the opposite is true?
-Hate is so clear that it feels wrong even when its right-
ponders*

2004-12-03T16:08:00.000+08:00

my luggage is packed, money changed, tickets are also with me already... time to sit aeroplane!! wheee~ [a lot of people wheeing, so i might as well join the crowd] will be back in 8days if i don't die from various causes.

apparently i'm habitually trying to freeze my butt numb after every major exam. first it was Christchurch, and now Osaka in the middle of winter.

have been thinking about my long lost friends recently, maybe i should contact them.. hate to see friendship go down the drain.
well, it can wait till after i come back.

19th is round the corner ya?

2004-11-22T13:09:00.000+08:00

finally, it's over. after two years of mindlessly, aimlessly studying useless subjects such as biology, we are finally one piece of paper closer to entering adulthood. where we continue to lead an aimless life in search of cash and a chance to spread our genes.

but between now and the next battle, it's time to rest and think back. how many good thing have i done? how much have i screwed up? who has made my life miserable and how much misery have i caused? while thinking, do try not to kill yourself.

anyway, pessimism[did i spell correctly?] aside, it's time to relax and enjoy life in it's full, wholesome glory. go out hang out, have fun, and try to help others while you are at it. remember, there's a lot of people less fortunate than you are, a nice example would be to lend a helping hand to that ostracized classmate so that at least they won't remember Sec. Sko as being all bad.

now to other stuff. watched Shark's Tale. no good + overrated, it's not really funny lor. seriously. turtle polish? ha.ha.ha. rite.
after the last paper, went out to walk. feels so weird that day, the after O level joy is almost as overrated as the movie. it took a couple of hours for the shock to sink in, resulting in my stonage.

the shock went something like this:
wow, finally over.
no need to mug anymore! woohoo!
no more stress! woohoo!
i can do anything i want for the next whole month!
but wait.
what do i actually wanna do?
hmm............................................................

ok, that's all the ranting i'm gonna do for now.

2004-11-16T11:46:00.000+08:00

Oh no more of that O level!
for my eyes will cry
and my cells will die --
No more!
my back is aching and my hands are breaking,
Please, no more of that O level!

2004-11-09T13:59:00.000+08:00

found this university prayer site..

prayers galore!
hope it helps.
http://admin.acadiau.ca/chaplain/prayer.htm

anyway, tomorrow's bio. wishing everyone and myself good luck.

Low-bl....i mean down

2004-11-05T15:39:00.000+08:00

low-down on first week. gidwani style!

SS: die, i wrote about the evils of Hello Kitty.
English: die, i thought they were worried Hell-boy will kill them.
Maths: die, 11 + 1 = 14...rite?
A maths: die, hmm.....just die....

nah. just joking (=

actually i thought it was quite easy la.. hope this trend keeps up for the next couple of weeks yes?

next week: maths. bio. yawn.

2004-10-28T15:58:00.000+08:00

ok, quick update.

thank goodness i never mugged down all the different plants and fruits that was available!
woohoo, we got prawns!

lalala~

2004-10-22T17:29:00.000+08:00

just a passing thought: how come i know so many ice mountains?

Mister Er just don't get it.

2004-10-20T11:44:00.000+08:00

One more turn of the path, and then we reach the clearing at the end.

Come along with me, will ya not?

2004-10-17T19:44:00.000+08:00

Updated list:

no more Ms. Goh hunting.
no more crappy western food.
no more hymn singing.
no more morning devotion.
no more bridge.
no more tai di.
no more COCONUT.
no more miss tan and mr goh.
no more sleepy Chem Yeo lessons.
no more Desmond Soh. [yeah!]
no more ian's extremely fast national anthem.
no more Saint John.
no more lamer bird talk.
no more "paying class funds."
no more weird people trying to climb traffic light.
no more odored person sitting beside me in geog.
no more Muthu boy.
no more Chi Gue.
no more bursted belt buckle.

2004-10-15T17:54:00.000+08:00

today was the last day in Saint Andrew's for a school day. ever.
the fact sinked into me during the Farewell Assembly.
could feel the tears welling up[i think during Ms. Chai's speech] but i know once i pop i can't stop, so i sucked the tears back in.

no more Ms Goh hunting.
no more crappy western food.
no more hymn singing.
no more morning devotion.
for 44 people, life has moved on and left them trying to catch up.

But for all that we no longer have, there is still the peace of the Lord.

2004-10-13T20:03:00.000+08:00

eehh, my grandma asked me to study in ngee ann poly for no reason. i tell her i wanna go jc she say no good. her reason being my whole family is ngee ann students. =/ ooookkkiieeee..............

anyway, i'm just blogging to keep this blog alive. as everyone realise. O's is not only around the corner, but is already living upstairs. good luck to all, hope to see you ppl at the Open Hse.......

anyway, the spirit is willing. but the body is a bit groggy.

time to mug.

2004-10-10T13:38:00.000+08:00

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
---Winston Churchill

When My Mind is Still - Paul Beattie

When my mind is still and alone with the beating of my heart,
I remember things too easily forgotten:
The purity of early love,
The maturity of unselfish love that asks --
desires -- nothing but another's good,
The idealism that has persisted through all the tempest of life.

When my mind is still and alone with the beating of my heart,
I can find a quiet assurance, an inner peace, in the core of my being.
It can face the doubt, the loneliness, the anxiety,
Can accept these harsh realities and can even grow
Because of these challenges to my essential being.

When my mind is still and alone with the beating of my heart,
I can sense my basic humanity,
And then I know that all men and women are my brothers and sisters.
Nothing but my own fear and distrust can separate me from the love of friends.
If I can trust others, accept them, enjoy them,
Then my life shall surely be richer and more full.
If I can accept others, this will help them to be more truly themselves,
And they will be more able to accept me.

When my mind is still and alone with the beating of my heart,
I know how much life has given me:
The history of the race, friends and family,
The opportunity to work, the chance to build myself.
Then wells within me the urge to live more abundantly,
With greater trust and joy,
With more profound seriousness and earnest service,
And yet more calmly at the heart of life.

2004-09-24T21:01:00.000+08:00

yay, free food yestereve. Heroes' Dinner. go school eat come home. and i heard that this year there wouldn't be any Hero badge given out. but guess what? i got mine 2 yrs ago! heheheh. this year's dinner sucked. literally eat catering food then go home. but at least is the teachers serve us.. haha, not everyday occurence wor. ys was damn sick. i eating greenish sago stuff he talking about his diahorea. wtf.

those people sick from fever, flu, sore throat[me included] and gastric flu, takkaire ok? drink more water, get more rest. O level coming in a month plus must go into the exam hall in the best of shape ya? especially those hall got aircon then must wrap up until like dumpling ones [one person immediately comes into mind]

ok, i'm sure somebody is gonna whack me when i say this, but i'm going to go ahead and say it anyway. after moderation, my prelim, is 9 points. unbelievable, unrealistic, totally nuts.

i mean, ben er getting 9? you must be joking rite? nope. i'm not. but don't worrie, i'm still going to be a Saint.

2004-09-22T19:02:00.000+08:00

[one summer day - spirited away]
very low quality, but still nice rite? i got one of much better quality in my com, who wants come find me. promise me you will hear finish the song k?

okie.. finally updating my blog.. recently very slack, only study a bit everyday. haiz, must start moving again...

anyway, prelims result is out. I GOT 11pts!! woohoo~ SAJC here i come. in the words of ian. NO NEED LEARN NEW SCHOOL SONG!! heh. anyway, i'll be damn happy if i can get the same for O's.

currently working on:
biology
chem
a maths

need A2 for both maths to do f-maths. sigh.

study study study.

neway, tomorrow is Heroes' Dinner. i won't say no to free food. next few days will be busy busy.. can someone lend me JS's new album? please?

2004-09-08T14:22:00.000+08:00

holidays is finally here. the calm before the storm. the bubbling before water boils. the weird rumbling of the stomach before the release of gas from the anus called fart. the... utter lost of vocabulary.

anyway, i'm chilling for the holiday. study a bit, the rest of the time just stone. charging up all the energy for chionging next term.and no, i won't be rolling dice to see what to study.

I GOT MY GLOOMY BEAR!! YEAH!! his name is timo.. big round head so nice to hug, reminds me of tako.. bleah.

nowadays life is getting so boring, lost all sense of time for this year already.. eveerything seems to have happened recently when in fact it happened like 3 months back.

study until crazy.

ok, that's it for now. bb.

2004-08-27T17:33:00.000+08:00

prelims. finally over.

now the only piece of news is i got A1 for bio. which is good, since it's the first time ever i got A1 for bio. usually i'm at the bottom of class with a B3[wow.]

anyway, i'm feeling sleepy now. maybe should sleep for a while. like 15 hours.
i'm thinking in one liners.
broken chain of thought.

anyway, jy finally bought my bear, but i'm actually having some problems coming into physical contact with it.

Sajc, i'll be seeing you soon.
i hope.
but so damn far.
and my auntie works opposite of the jc.
i think.

ok, before i go back to studying. i need to watch resident evil and hana&alice. then i'll be at piss with myself.
and eat chocolate.
and cheesecake.[coffee bean sugar-don't-need-money style]
and more chocolate.

ok, i'll blog somemore after drinking coffee.

bye.

2004-08-18T17:16:00.000+08:00

People are in the dark, they don't know what to do
i had a little lantern, oh but it got blown out too.
I'm reaching out my hand. I hope you are too.
I just want to be in the dark with you.

---Greg Brown, In the Dark With You

2004-08-17T12:39:00.000+08:00

realise how come i recently so down. nvr eat enough chocolate.

Quick update:
- yesterday Eng. Oral. hopefully didn't do too badly
- MT i got A2[m] !! Whee~
- After a couple of months of waiting........i'm still waiting for my gloomy.
- Today no school, tomorrow Bio paper 2/3? i think so... or izzit 1/3? well, sama sama la.
- Remember to pray for me, i'll pray for you too.

PS: Good luck for the prelims[whenever you are taking the prelims]

2004-08-10T09:32:00.000+08:00

ok, here i am. blogging my first and last blog for a while. Prelims is tomorrow. Wtf wtf wtf wtf. Stress? Panic? Depressed? Claustrophobic? You bet. Only cure? Foamy. www.illwillpress.com..
Go to toons and have a look at "Squirrel Song" farnie shit. lol.

Anyway, good luck for my prelims ya.
and good luck for mother tongue results.
and good luck for english oral.
and good luck for your coming prelims.
and good luck for Founder's Day.

Current animal farm:
Daniel: Cat[pussy]
Wei Hao : Dog
Chris: Clueless Rabid Wolf
Oslyn: Bovine

2004-08-04T18:42:00.000+08:00

just had a conversation with my teacher in auzzy[Ms Chan].

talked about jc, poly and stuff. learnt some stuff that i didn't know about, haha, quite interesting..

really got me thinking about how i'm going to spent the next few months. Quoting from my Zone Commissioner Sir Eric Koh: Every decision impacts on all the cadets of Zone 4.

After slight alteration : Every moment impacts on all the rest of my life.
Well, slightly irrelevant but generally logical.

Thanks Flo.

*faint*
A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc..."
Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.

2004-08-03T17:44:00.000+08:00

let me see.. what to write.. hmm..

i want to watch The Village, but i can't.
i want to go to last Sat's Scout Campfire, but i can't.
i want to go to the Swiss Cottage dinner, but i can't.
i want to sleep, but i can't.
i want to hug gloomy bear, but i can't.
i want to buy clothes, but i can't.
i want to feel happy, but i can't.

crap, making myself feel screwed up.

change.

i want to control myself until after prelims, and i can.
i want to know when not to go for dinners and shit like that because there's more important things to do, and i can.
i want to study a bit before i sleep, and i can.
i want to stop thinking of gloomy, and i can.
i want to buy clothes when i am truly free, and i can.
i want to feel happy, and i can.

much better (=

2004-07-23T14:51:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!

miss me? finally got to use the com after two weeks due to the renovation that my gram house is going through. bloody hell, took 2 weeks just to renovate the toilet, sup. inefficient. anyway, jsut took a scissors and cut through the anti-dust tent that my uncle build for the com. feels like cutting through a savannah of tall grass..note: never arm a trigger-happy guy with plastic and masking tape.

anyway, spent the last 2 weeks watching iron chef and eating junk food. missing all my homies.. haiz.

but on the bright side - iPod!! just got it yestereve. song bo!

k, i'll try to blog again after i got pass the euphoria. chao~

2004-07-08T16:29:00.000+08:00

ok, decided to blog today.

saturday went out to have dinner with my aunt's family. my cousin will be studying her degree in the university of western australia for the next 2 years. left singapore yesterday morning. haiz, gonna miss her.

my cousin and her brother[my other cousin] both brought their g/b friends along. both of them are left handed. so all together there are 4 left handers around the table. haha, a first time for me.

anyway, i bought Ixus430^^. damn chio, 4 mega pixel. i drooling over the cam. too bad, parents say cannot bring out, -_-".

just finished my oral for O'lvls. haiz, think i did alright la, very nervous. hopefully the examiners see favour in me then give me good marks. and more hopefully i get an A.

ok, that's it. bye.

2004-07-07T19:39:00.000+08:00

lolx.

D12 feat. Eminem - My Band

Farnie shit!

2004-07-01T18:16:00.000+08:00

Sometimes love just ain't enough

I don't wanna lose you,
I don't wanna use you
just to have sombody by my side
And I don't wanna hate you
and I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
and I don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

Now I could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just want to have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
there beside you where I used to lay

And there's a Danger in Loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

2004-06-30T19:01:00.000+08:00

yawn.. just woke up, at last i am thinking straight. anyway, SJ day is no longer tomorrow, it will be postponed till a later date. yesterday my great grandmother was feeling very bad, so my grandma went over to take a look, thank goodness nothing bad happened.

muahaha- the blackout was non-existent to me. didn't even know of such a thing until today morning.

ok, see you guys, makan session now.. bye.

2004-06-29T16:34:00.000+08:00

Quote: if you are given a day to cut down a tree, spent half a day sharpening your axe (=

Well, school as usual sucked. but it was a nice change from holidays, that sucked even more. so boring, spent 2 weeks planning for camp, came out straight away must do some other crappy stuff, what a waste of time. anyway, the damn homework flood has started. well, maybe it was just that i still have some leftover holiday homework to do =/ anyway, everyone.... Jia You Ba!!

Thursday will be Saint John's day, so we had a mini rehearsal today. hope it will go well on that day.. if rain then lah-gy best. touch wood*

feel like watching Godsend, but heard that it was quite a short movie. should i? hmm....

Now Playing: Incubus - Wish you Were Here

JieYing: Bear!! (= [psss... i got the Sushi Tei voucher, but only $10.. go makan?]
Charissa: Hey, do you still want the choc?

2004-06-25T14:28:00.000+08:00

found a way to chase away bored: anime and cartoon

currently watching Broken Saints, Ghost in the Shell and Neurotically Yours. Broken Saints is creepy on the edge freaky, but kinda cool. Ghost in the Shell has very nice storylines[but the subtitle refresh speed is slightly too fast; my eyes hurt]and Neurotically yours is... well... let's just say the character that talks the most is a squirrel called Foamy.

Broken Saints: www.brokensaints.com
Ghost in the Shell: buy it or download it
Neurotically Yours: Search "Foamy" or "Neurotically Yours" in www.newgrounds.com

footnote: Jie Jie where is my bear bear......[can't believe i said that, but only way left to get someone to hurry up (= ]

2004-06-22T09:31:00.000+08:00

everytime when i open the "i weekly" magazine, i'll just go through the pictures. But yesterday, for the first time in a long while, i tried to read it. and fate let me see something i rather not. Derek Chua was in the mag on the Singapore Idol section. Argh.

The comments went something like that: "Derek practices his singing everyday, even though he looks average, he won by his creative dress sense." For more information, check out i weekly.

Derek was my senior for 2 years, also from Saint John. Skater poser cum Pikachu lookalike. But seriously? He can't sing well. If he can make it through the first round? a lot of people can.

anyway, yesterday pigged out at home again. the only time i stepped out of the house was to pass 2 cds to os and collect my money. haiz, homework is bad for health.

2004-06-21T12:38:00.000+08:00

read below for latest post (=

How to make a Benjamin Er Hao Cheng

Ingredients:

1 part success

3 parts self-sufficiency

5 parts joy

Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add lovability to taste! Do not overindulge!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

2004-06-21T09:35:00.000+08:00

another bright sunny day, birds singing, sun shining, lizard at the corner of the wall minding its own business. it would have been beautiful if it wasn't the same for the last whole month.

currently stuck at home, trying my best to actually start mugging. must pit my will against the computer, and as you people can guess, the computer won. but nevermind, faster burn the cds, get my money back, then later i will start studying. yes, i will. really. confirm.

just listened to The Corrs new album.. one of the songs caught my attention.. "borrowed heaven". here are two short verses..

All beauty all fade away, borrowed
All moonlight return today, borrowed
All sunrise all shooting stars, borrowed
All earth bound bare feet in clay
you know we're standing on

All heartache all rivers cried, borrowed
Don't stay out too late tonight, borrowed
I love you don't wanna die, borrowed
You taste like paradise, I know I'm breathing in

how nice if we can all keep this in our minds. everything we have is loan to us for a term. and the problem is, we don't know when the due date is. it could be in 70years or it could be tomorrow. treasure everything you have, hold it dear. never know when you will lose it. don't live to regret wrong choices or even worse, choices not made. for that is taking your life and throwing it into the dumps. if you truly love someone, tell him or her. be it your friends or family. let them know you care.

treasure everything you have, hold it dear.

Identity crisis solved.

2004-06-16T15:40:00.000+08:00

today, i finally manage to categorise myself. I am - overly optimistic. hey, its good shit to be overly optimistic ok..means you will never get sad and will always look on the bright side of life. (= you should try being overly optimistic one day...

"The average person goes hiking and sees a mountain in front of him, he starts walking and sulking. The optimistic sees the mountain and starts running up the mountain hoping to catch the sunset. The overly optimistic sees the mountain - and start using a bulldozer." - deep thought from BenEr your resident sage.

Proj. Mugging

2004-06-15T17:53:00.000+08:00

aaaahhhh..... at last... camp 04 is completed. gonna miss everyone in SA. many partings. but there's new blood coming in rite? so things will never be as bad as we think it will be. cheer up guys. even if i cannot chiong with you people for the next 5 months, you can always count on me for advise and moral support. grin*

anyway, i think the camp went quite smoothly, other then the few after lights out meeting and unexpected leavings that is =/ anyway, this is the first can i attended with only one DI[duty instructor] for 4 days. and guess who? that guy is me. so ended up i ganna voted for siao-on king. wahaha, i where got siao on, i like come for holiday camp like that sia =X

last night presentation night i cried my eyeballs out. damn malu sia, i only person crying, i think is the first time a lot of them see me crying somemore. tell people they also don't believe i cried. but seeing them and thinking...cannot help it la..

but now, back to mugging. have to leave SA corps in the hands of WX,DC,YS,AL and company already. maybe we'll meet again at the end of the year? cheer up guys, like i said - no matter what, keep the fire burning brightly ever.
Up and On.

ok la, got time then i rave somemore, slept long enough, slacked long enough. time to do something constructive. like talking on the phone (=

k, whateva. cheers.

busy

2004-06-08T18:37:00.000+08:00

busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.
busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.
busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.
busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.
busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.
busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.
busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.busy.

=/

New Skin.

2004-06-06T17:08:00.000+08:00

finally changed my skin. how is it?
been quite busy for the last few days and going to be even busier for the next few. may not be able to go out but if anything just call me up and check alright? God Bless.

another day.

2004-06-04T13:49:00.000+08:00

attended the concert at the Esplanade by SAJS, SASMB, SAJCCB and the Alumni band with Jieying. bloody hell, nicholas asked me to collect the ticket at the counter before the concert starts, ended up the tickets are not there. the replacement tickets that we got are at this damn ulu place by the side. after sitting there for a while, we just heck care and went to our original seating, lucky no ticket check.

very nice performance on the whole except for some wrong notes played. too bad i didn't sleep enough for the last few days, on the final few pieces i sort of zoned out and started stoning a bit. hey, only a bit k?

then today morning went to school for chemistry lesson. it was very boring, but i still manage to catch what she is talking about la. then before the lesson, i learnt how to play Bridge. Not bad la, but still need to practise.

Anyway, yesterday i only slept 7 hours. so now i'm still in a stage of semi-conciousness. Goodnight.

Chinese O's

2004-06-01T13:18:00.000+08:00

hmm, all i can say is... dunno? i'm hoping for a A2 but i think most likely B3 ba. *cross fingers*

straight after MTLP went to watch "The Day After Tomorrow". damn cool movie, lots of casualty and Singapore sank in the first 30minutes of the movie. anyway, quite freaky towards the middle. wanted to scream "we're all gonna die!" but thank goodness i didn't. after that stoned around for a while then went home...

today, took the vid cam and straight started fliming for the digital vid. competition. wa liew, very shacked now. just reach home. my gramma house undergoing upgrading, so can feel the damn vibrating of drilling now, haiz.. how to sleep like that.

anyway, see how it goes ba. still hoping for the A2. see you guys, bye.

Finally..

2004-05-26T16:11:00.000+08:00

finally i got my grubby paws on a FIR cd. i think its quite nice ya. but for some reason track9 gave me a slight tinge of hackles. i think my money is well spent.

went to watch shrek 2 yesterday. wa lao, damn farnie. i think better not spoil the movie for you people.. but there is a very mind-boggling question in my mind: how in the world can a male donkey have sex with a big, red female dragon?! bewildered*

anyway, super mugging for the last 3 days. still got a lot to cover. so i think i'll have to chiong somemore. haiz.

ok, that's about it. see you peeps ard. God Bless.

PS: When can pass me the copy of Avril?

=/

2004-05-24T18:11:00.000+08:00

this is fun (=

http://mafia.cheats4us.org/index.php?x=142135

lolx.

[no title]

2004-05-21T20:38:00.000+08:00

Anyone heard the True Colours Compilation from HIM music? Go get one. You won't regret it. And btw, i've yet to get my FIR. =/

Thursday went for First Aid duty for one of my school's cross country practise. In the end it started raining and the run was cancelled. Wa liew, waste my time. Still got 10days to MT paper somemore. Stress sia. Must start mugging full scale soon.

Currently preparing for tomorrow's SHM. Wa, a lot of things need to be done and i don't think i have enough time to play around with. But no choice la, still have to carry on. If one day i turn suicidal must help me call police alright...

Four hours of A maths left me feeling a bit stunned now. Just now got headache somemore. But ok la, i finally started learning integration. I think its a bit on the slow side, but what to do? Teacher wants to do it slowly then it can't be helped.

Slow Down.

2004-05-18T18:21:00.000+08:00

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

My stupid little life.

2004-05-17T10:47:00.000+08:00

No school today, so ended up lazying around at home. Some poeple taking literature exam today, so the larger part of the school ended up having a holiday. Not that i'm complaining, but it is getting really boring around here. More like "i can't be bothered to do some work", than "there's nothing to do". Two more weeks to chinese O's. Stressed*

Anyway, nothing much happened in my stupid little life. Friday went to watch Van Helsing. Damn farnie, the show is more about tyco-ness than skill. In my opinion, its one of those shows with good action but no story line. Good for wasting time with friends. Anyone wanna watch Shrek? (=

Slacked the whole weekend off at home. Been a long time since i sleep until so song liao. Eitherway, maybe going out with a couple of friends on thursday. Shit, got cross country.

Started reading Stephen King - Wolves of the Calla [The Dark Tower Bk. 5].
Brudders//Sistas, you have no idea what you are missing if you never read this series before. Wa liew, is not i bookworm lor. But it is very very nice. Trust me when i talk about books alright?

ok la, think i better go zone off for a while. see you guys.

Bungled execution.

2004-05-13T15:56:00.000+08:00

The most prolonged execution in French History occured in 1626, when Count Henri de Chalais was condemned to death for his part in a royal assassination plot. When it was time for the count to be publicly beheaded with a sword, the regular executioner couldn't be found and an inexperienced replacement had to be drafted in at the last minute. the count's head was hacked off by the stand-in on the 29th stroke: he was still breathing at the 20th

Stone.

2004-05-12T17:32:00.000+08:00

yes. stone. with a capital S. a capital T. a capital O. a capital O. a capital N. and a capital E. STONE.

finally, mid year more or less over sia. left bio/chem MCQ. i think this time was alright la. with luck i shouldn't get any C except for english which the whole level is going to fail. praying hard that i didn't cock up without noticing. if like that then i die liao.

anyway,i have no idea what i'm doing now. spent the last 3 hours in front of computer stoning[just for an example, i spent 2 of those hours playing neopets].

stone.stone.stone.stone.stone.stone.stone.stone.stone.stone.
[one hour has passed. time: 5.56pm][serious]

now burning 2 copies of cyndi. one for me, and one for someone else[duh.] just bought some cd of composer demos. i think quite nice la. too bad no mood//energy to listen.

oh, i also bought a new pair of brown converse sneaks. i think quite comfortable la, for wearing to school. but it loks damn weird, the colour combi of blue and light brown. but who cares, i feel comfortable most impt.

k la. that's about it. bye.

Half the battle settled.

2004-05-07T16:35:00.000+08:00

ok, finally. my chem paper has passed. whew. hopefully i didn't do too bad, but apparently everyone was talking about how they are royally screwed. i think ok la, not say hard also not say easy. scully i fail then die. *touch wood*

anyway, e maths was chicken leg. english was alright. ss//geog was ooookkkkkiieeee..... very mian chiang la.. but hopefully i'll at least get B3? *pray hard*

so now, here i am, chilling and preparing to chiong again. next week i've got chinese, physics and biology left. should be no kick, study can liao: skill unrequired.

by the way, those that didn't know what is vivian talking about: i think i'll just keep it that way.

sorry!

2004-05-03T17:27:00.000+08:00

[public apology]
really really sorry. i thought it was tuesday instead of monday, made you wait for so long. next time lunch i treat la k? the fever must have damaged my memory or something, if not i'll have called you..

once again, my deepest apologizes la. xiao jie bu yao shen wo de chi hao ma?

Sick

2004-05-03T09:56:00.000+08:00

ok, as some of you may know by now: I am Sick.

nonono, don't get me wrong. not sick in the mind, more like sick in the body.[God, what am i saying] but i think you should get the picture right? yesterday whole day bed ridden, couldn't study, can't sleep, can't do anything. but felt better after eating med from the doctor. suffering from fever and cold. haiz, lucky still got a few days before exam. turn out i got fever because my throat is infected, so i have to be on anti-biotics. and the cause of my sore throat? durian. a box full of durian.

i mean, seriously. if the durian is good i don't mind getting sick. but it taste like crap lor, give my grandma face then i help her eat. so now i'm at home on MC and going to start muggin soon. hopefully, tomorrow i'll have recovered fully if not i'll have to dua my friend liao. later she catch my cold then die. [To whom may be concern: if you don't want to meet tomorrow give me a call alright?]

alright, sorry for today's "sub-standard" post. No energy la..

Another screwed up day in my screwed up life

2004-04-30T17:47:00.000+08:00

hmm, just came back from cross country practise. lolx, some people say want to pon-tang then end up still come.

either way, let's start with a few days back. happy belated birthday again ian. may you have long days and pleasant nights. then dan, celeb and jason bought him a care bear and a soft toy flower. lolx, he hold and walk look like some gay-lord like that =X. then miss tan borrowed it for one day to play with it and end up the flower ganna de-flower by desmond soh.

today, some guy and his bunch come find business with me inside the macritchie track. ask for bandage and tried to scratch himself on the floor to get it. wad the fuck sia. want to chue dai chi also not like that one wad. then say he four person i onli got two, chee bye, talk big act small, tell my teacher then he hum chi in front of my teacher act angel. go home suck a few more year milk then come out play la. haiz, hopeless.

Ok, that's another episode of My Screwed Up Life. That's all folks!!

Wednesday // April28 // 2004

2004-04-28T18:10:00.000+08:00

currently, sitting in front of the computer doing some research stuff. but cannot find anything leh =/ this month happened to be the birthday of at least 5 people i noe, so had to spent some money to buy presents. haiz, sorry mates, too many people liao, so some i onli chip in hor. if not i pok gai sia.. suddenly feel the heat of exams. mother don't allow me to go out. stress from seeing everyday go by in the blink of an eye. then everyone chionging. *shudder*

then yesterday go out study with my sister. only a few things to say. (1)your joke very cold. (2) not very productive leh, next time change place k? (3)your joke still very cold. and by the way, i erased off most of your "artistic burst" on my notebook liao.. onli leave a bit just in case you claw me.

had chinese oral on monday, went quite well for me la. got improvement according to her. so hoping for the best. knew i could crap in english, never thought i could do even more in chinese. *grin*

dunno why, now very sian and very shack. no mood do anything, HAIZ. can someone spur me on? *shrug*

k la, waddeva. bye.

From a old friend.

2004-04-23T17:03:00.000+08:00

This is written by a old friend. Posted it before a long time ago. Decided to post it again. Grace, hope you don't mind me blogging this up. (=

Love's Resignation
A broken love
A shattered heart
Like others who've lived
And tasted romance's bitter fruit

To reminisce over priceless memories
Be it joy that brings forth a sense of euphoria
Be it sorrow that stings like nettle rash
Invaluable memories of a broken heart

A broken heart
A shattered dream
By love's resignation
An infinite depression

Contemplation

2004-04-23T16:26:00.000+08:00

since i got not better to do now. i think i'll just spent sometime thinking out loud.

Why are people uncomfortable with themselves? Why do they feel insecure talking about themselves? I'm not saying that i'm immune to this. Just that some people are really suffering from a severe case of confidence-deficiency.

Seriously, i believe in something called fate. Not in the sense that "whatever will come will come so i might as well sit here and take a nap." It's more like..erm.. what they call "ka" in by Stephen Kings. That there is a path that draws us and no matter what we do, we will be lead back to it. Personally, i think that no life is perfect, that if you are good at something, some part of you is gonna blow. there's always a balance somewhere. In the words of Spiderman's Uncle Ben :"Great power comes with great responsibility." So the give and take of life is still there.

But back to the topic, why do people feel bad about themselves? Social stigma. This society do not allow us to be ourselves. We must always be the guy[or girl] who can chop a basketball in from half-court and still manage to get 6 points in the O levels. I think that is freaking unrealistic, even if you can do that..at what cost?

Social stigma says we must be this to be popular. We must be the fucking all-rounder to be deemed successful. Oh yes, and looks play a big part in molding a person's life. Think i don't need to explain that, everyone knows how that works.

Everybody is good at something, and bad at something. So why bother about what the world tells you? For goodness sakes, like that i told ian: live for yourself. It's ultimately God that you answer to, so why bother what Man says to you. They can fucking burn for all i care.

Ok, sorry, my topic is flying all over the place. Thanks for reading my thoughts till here though. Back to fate, I always believe that there is someone up there guiding you and pushing you to work, and that failure is not necessarily a bad thing. Failure is just a part of life that we should learn from rather then shun. Being scared to fail is being afraid of life. In the words of Corrinne May,"I will fall to fly."

I think that i lead a wonderful life. With just the right amount of love, care, concern, help, blessing, kindness, failure, shame, hate, ostracizing, insult, fuck-ups and embarassment to grow. I'm not a christian but i think that there is one big Mac-Daddy up there nudging us into the right direction. And bless Him.

Ok, thanks for reading another frothing-in-the-mouth raving brought to you by me. And disagreement, concern, insults, middle fingers ,bombs, anthrax or just plain comments are welcomed. Anyone boliao enough is also welcomed to mark this entry.

Thanks, and God bless.

Check this out.

2004-04-21T18:23:00.000+08:00

*geek mood*
I think this is a very good read. Check it out. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4725189/

And by the way,
Gloomy Bear still rocks. Check this out first. http://www.chax.net/frameset.html

Gloomy!!

2004-04-21T17:08:00.000+08:00

Gloomy bear rocks. Find me for more details.

Anyway, just reached home half an hour ago, as always, i'm shacked. "mug mug mug away, i am mugging away." [to the melody of Rainbow Orgy's ending song, for those who knows what the hell it is]

just making a point to make a new entry every few days. currently not very busy, i got this feeling that it is the calm before the storm, the silents before the murder, the ceasing of tummy rumbling before the Great Anal Release. ok fine, i'm raving. gimme a sec, time for my Velium dose.

Ok, done. feeling calmer now. Today was just another ordinary day. After school stayed back for English enrichment with JH. I think it is very good money, better than private tuitioning. She gets what.. $60/student for a class of 40-50? and that's for a span of 9 hours over 6 lessons. That's $450/lesson goodness sakes, and she still say that she didn't do this for money, but just to help us. *snorts* yeah rite..

ok, i'll end here now, see you guys. God Bless.

What colour are you?

2004-04-19T19:21:00.000+08:00

BLUE

You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

just to lighten things up..

2004-04-19T19:16:00.000+08:00

here's a quote from my beloved and slightly psychotic physics teacher.

"The spirit is willing, but the body is a bit groggy"
- Michael Lim

Enjoy.

No title.

2004-04-19T18:55:00.000+08:00

just reached home. so the mugging begins.

i'm currently changing my motto in life. Used to be " i shall have no regrets if i die today". Now, it is "let every year of my life be the last year " sounds seriously corny but to me it actually works. beginning to mug now, in the words of a friend " now then woken up ah?" but hopefully not too late ba. 2weeks to mid year left. still got a whole lot to do. hopefully can influence some friends to mug also ba. scully they mug at home nvr tell me. lolx, i also dun care la.

dunno why, feeling down now. still got this damn feeling that i'm alone in this world. maybe is a) its really true , b) recent events force me into looking at life like this or c) i'm going crazy. i'm more incline towards me going crazy, suffering depression and turning suicidal. But on the other hand, ain't i always suicidal? maybe not. *shrug* ok fine, i'm only making things seem worse, dun mind me. a bit crazy lor.

wadever.

FIR - Lydia

2004-04-13T16:55:00.000+08:00

yup. finally found a new web music hosting server. hope you like the song (=

yesterday night. ganna scolding by my parents because of my results. starting from the low mark and slowly evolved into something about me not respecting my teacher to i being stupid. i mean, seriously, WTF! but nvm la, i think they did talk sense ba, onli thing is that their phrasing is extremely wrong and hurting. haiz, as i always say, wad to do? my parents what.

then today in class we had 2 hours odd of english. Quote from Eden Fong's compo : "Students are nuts, schools are the nutshells." Wa lao! Bui tahan sia. it sounds damn farnie. lolx. then after that i slept through bio remedial. haiz. must stop this already.

anyway, striving to live a life with this motto : "if i die tonight, i will have no regrets" but don't think it will be easy though, don't you feel that there is too much that we keep inside us till the point of time where everything burst out? maybe i should let go? well..maybe not.

ok, what the heck. dun mind me. i'm not in the correct state of mind today. maybe PMS coming.[oops.] wadeva. bye.

shen ah! jiu jiu wo ba!!! [translate: God! Help me!!!]

2004-04-12T17:13:00.000+08:00

feeling utterly screwed. just got back me chemistry paper today, got erm.. 9/35? that is like the lowest i got for a test so far. serious, not hao lian, i'm really worried about my results. then this year will be THE YEAR somemore. going to officially start my mugging operation today. I think this is God's way of asking me to awake up and start moving. So if there is divine intervention, then i jolly well follow orders right?

Started studying in the bus today. realise that the best place to study is actually a quiet bus. no distractions. no noise. no temptation to slack. Going to clock at least 3 hours a day from now on. Please, i got a favor to ask. Friends, remind me to study ok?[especially that one i call often] Saying i want to study is much easier than really sitting down and opening the book.

Friday went to ian's church to see GodSpell the muscial. its suppose to be taken from the Gospel of John and set in modern times in a skatepark. Very nice and meaningful. Then quite lame la huh. John baptise people using a barber's water spraycan. erm, somethings not quite rite there. All in all a good show. Like the ending but its a bit too short.

Ok, starting mugging soon. See you guys.

haiz.

2004-04-08T20:25:00.000+08:00

the promised half day was today. at the start it was so shuang, school end at 10.10 and no chem prac till four. but then came the biggy, whr to go? ended up left dan, ian and me left. so we went to watch HellBoy. what the hell, it was boring, dry and a tinge satanic. in my own words, a Bakuah without the marinate. first movie i almost fell asleep in. then after that went to taka to eat japanese noodles[taste like mee goreng sia] and went over to heerens to window shop.

ended up we were teaching ian all sorts of lame games to trick people. like the original johnny johnny johnny johnny wosh johnny wosh johnny johnny johnny johnny and all sorts of other crap. i'm amazed by his ignorance.

ok, tomorrow going to see GodSpell. Update you on that next time. hope its nice. see u.

ps: KNN. david ba you damn good. no tuition never tell me. i'll home at five liao then you just cannot bother to call again rite? go your house. then also dunno how to come down, open gate and talk right. stand on the 2nd floor balcony, what's your problem? think you bigger than me rite? must let me look up and talk to you right? very nice ba. i like your style.

Can you dig it?

2004-04-07T21:03:00.000+08:00

lim peh school won ACSI 10 to 7 in Police Cup. WooHoo~! the match was very nice. we were defending all through the second half and managed to tahan the barrage of attacks. then i was just standing there doing duty and watching the match. one of the acs players called bock got his head cut up and had to be send to the hospital. blood was splattered everywhere, cool =X

at the end of the match, all the ACS people black face. then SA was on crack. everyone was like cheering and jerseys where flying everywhere. nothing explicit, only jerseys.

hopefully we'll get a half day off somewhr in the future.

p.s.[to the one who is concern] : if you think that my concern if extra, forget it.

Shack.

2004-04-05T19:34:00.000+08:00

caught a cold a few days back. feeling like crap now. sigh. =/

saturday morning went to bishan park, cycled around the damn bloody wet tall grass field for erm..(counting)6-9rounds? that's around 4-5 kliks of chain sucking, hard pedalling hell. i cringe at the memory of it. tried to walk up 10storeys to my gram's house as usual. ended up my legs cramped stiff 3 times during the climb. not a good feeling.

did a quick wash up and went for Standard Chardard Singapore Sevens duty. it was damn song sia.
foster sponsored free flow of beer and those girls who dispensed the beer were.. let's just say very very jude. and its amazing how much the All Black Kiwis sucked this season. they lost to argentina like crazy. And during the England vs. France match, all the drunk ang mohs stood up and start cursing the france. it was funny sia. But heard that the finals is Argentina against Sounth Africa. Too bad i wasn't there, those lucky Red Cross people got the duty. Haiz. Dang.

Ok, that should be it. no mood write. feeling damn stone now. sniffed too much. see you guys around.

All American Rejects - Swing Swing

2004-04-01T18:52:00.000+08:00

Days swiftly come and go.
I'm dreaming of her.
She's seeing other guys.
Emotions they stir.
The sun is gone.
The nights are long.
And I am left while the tears fall.

Did you think that I would cry,
on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like,
being alone?
I'll find someone new.

Swing, Swing from the tangles of.
My heart is crushed by a former love.
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Wish cast into the sky.
I'm moving on.
Sweet beginnings do arise.
She knows I was wrong.
The notes are old,
They bend, they fold.
and so do I to a new love.

Did you think that I would cry,
on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like,
being alone?
I'll find someone new

Swing, Swing from the tangles of.
My heart is crushed by a former love.
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Bury me
(you thought your problems were gone)
Carry me
(away. away, away...)

Swing Swing Swing from the tangles of
my heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?